It's game 7 of the NBA finals and a man makes his way to his seat at center court. He sits down and notices that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone is sitting there. He responds, "No, the seat's empty." "The first man exclaims, "What?!? Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the NBA finals and not use it?" The neighbor responds, "Well the seat is mine, but my wife passed away and this is the first NBA finals we haven't been together." The first man responds," I'm sorry to hear that. Wasn't there anyone else, a friend or relative, that could've taken that seat?" The neighbor responds, "No, they're all at the funeral."
Golfer: "I'd move heaven & earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven; you've already moved most of the earth."
A Giants fan, a Padre fan, and a Dodger fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more. The Padre fan insists he's the most loyal. "This is for San Diego!" he yells and jumps off the side of the mountain. Not to be outdone, the Giants fan is next to profess his love for his team. He yells, "This is for San Francisco!" and pushes the Dodger fan off the mountain.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!
How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 50: 3 to die trying, 1 to actually pull it off, and 46 other to say, "man, I could do that!"
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
I named my hard drive "dat ass," so once a month my computer asks if I want to "back dat ass up."
A man hasn't been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. "I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left." "Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?" "Ten," the doctor says sadly. "Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" "Nine..."
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."
A Spanish captain was walking on his ship when a soldier rushes to him and exclaims, "An enemy ship is approaching us!" The captain replies calmly, "Go get my red shirt." The soldier gets the shirt for the captain. The enemy ship comes in and heavy rounds of fire are exchanged. Finally, the Spaniards win. The soldier asks, "Congrats sir, but why the red shirt?" The captain replies, "If I got injured, my blood shouldn't be seen, as I didn't want my men to lose hope." Just then, another soldier runs up and says, "Sir, we just spotted another twenty enemy ships!" The captain calmly replies, "Go bring my yellow pants."
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two: one to change it and another one to change it back again.
China, Russia, and Poland venture to space. China says they'll go to Pluto because it's the farthest. Russia says they'll go to Jupiter because it's the biggest. Poland says they'll go to the Sun. Russia and China warn that they'll melt. They reply, "We'll go at night."

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靖江到南通火车时刻表诸暨市到杭州市火车靖江到南通火车时刻表买通辽到库伦的火车票最新火车站点时刻表k787火车票查询火车票改名河南南阳至义乌火车站时刻表过期火车票能改签邢台到天水火车票长春276路在火车站哪里靖江到南通火车时刻表沈阳北至延安火车时刻表查询从新乡出发的火车河南南阳至义乌火车站时刻表邢台到天水火车票上海南站到兰溪火车站菏泽到临清的火车站菏泽到临清的火车站聊城到安顺几点的火车济南发巨野火车时刻表菏泽到临清的火车站过期火车票能改签惠州火车站到惠州汽车东站最新火车站点时刻表砚山哪里能买火车票买通辽到库伦的火车票惠州火车站到惠州汽车东站聊城到安顺几点的火车沈阳北至延安火车时刻表查询咯做尼同学“我本无名,只能叫无名了。在我心中,若失去冒险精神就失去了人生意义,那种热血沸腾的感觉真是让我欲罢不能!” 神秘少年获得与所在世界格格不入的力量,由于好奇心的驱使让他四处冒险,奇遇连连,随着身体与武器接连产生异变,他那恐怖的身份以及武器的归属渐渐有了答案……王浩,小时候被爸妈抛弃,后遇到好心人收留,在他17岁以前,每天都给人打工,直到遇到落叶,而改变他的一生原本陈辞作为商界一方大佬,前途可谓一片光明,却遭遇了一场意外事故,经抢救无效死亡。 再次醒来的他,竟然变成了个阉人——北宋童贯! “我这是造了什么孽啊!” 凭借前世经验,以及对历史发展的充分了解,陈辞真正做到了一个好官,同时也是北宋第一富! 后期逞强除恶,匡扶宋室,一统中原,只为打造史上最强北宋! (原谅鄙人浅薄的历史知识,文中可能会出现与史实不符,本文半架空!)国防科技大学大一新生,在图书馆查阅资料翻阅到了一本奇怪的书而到了异世界,从此林凌柒以新的身份在异世界开始了自己新的征程,用自己的知识带领部族走向强大。 石器时代?没有热水?不会建房?不会种粮?不,我不要这样的生活。 收服猪人族部落,建造房屋,引入种植技术,通热水,摆脱石器时代。 走路太累?速度太慢?马车,飞舟。师父常说,山下女人都是老虎,但师父亦常说,我不入地狱,谁入地狱。 于是,夏天化身打虎英雄,奔往山下。 夏天:“师姐,收起你的胸恶,让我用爱感化你……” 嫂子红杏出墙,大哥锒铛入狱,家破人亡下,他也身心具创。 数年后,容貌大改,决定报复,誓要让那女人悔不当初。 却不料,嫂子嫁入他家,也是为了报复。 起因,只是源于昔日的一场情债。 感情是蜜更是刀,虽不伤身却伤心;动情之前先问心,用情不专祸无穷。 简介:居然穿越成了一本末日世界得疾病癌症死于非命的男配? 在老天爷让我没有死的情况,一定是需要我做点什么!李诗尧觉得他身为一名武警也要死的轰轰烈烈!要为了能够拯救世界的男主而死!要了这个小说世界和平而死!于是,他果断的保护起来了男主。 角色:李诗尧,顾池灵兽人程森屮(che四声)十一岁丧母,十三岁遭灭族。程森屮,程猖,程狂兄弟三人幸存。一年后大哥程猖却操纵程森屮杀死小时密友和程猖,心灰意冷的程森屮消失了三个月后在长安佚名“山狼”靠杀人赚钱。两年后,“山狼”声名崛起无意间认识权门高氏二公子和洌氏二公,这时有人叫杀死两人。山狼不从,没曾想那人正是大哥程猖。几经挣扎后,山狼坠于程狂和卫天兰坠落的黑鹰崖。 十年后 顶级杀手——山狼,再次出现在高风舌眼前。 正义也许会迟到,但永远不会缺席。 洪荒时代,天才丛生,一代天骄燕南天经过无数年终建中州一城,过后,无数人杰从四域八荒建造了无数城,然而经过荒古大战之后,许多城池已然消灭,再经过岁月的吞噬流年的侵染。至今也只留下了世间最古老的三十六座城。而三十六大世家各主一城,计者,非兵而谋。故江湖流传着三十六计安天下。三十六城皆为非兵而谋,欲谋皆为计者。然而待江湖热血已去,谋者嫣能长存。小谋少存,谋大 而为天下。东海, 西荒,南岭, 北漠 ,中州,燕氏后裔如何在这个新一纪元中崛起,一统四域八荒。
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